At a Crossroad...

note: this was originally posted on my former blog in 2017...but I thought it appropriate for 2020. ;)

I'm a bit restless right now. This happens when I'm at a crossroads. I have some choices to make, specifically with how I'm managing my time, making decisions and generally running life. I get to this point, typically, 2-3 times a year. It's a healthy thing, really. A personal checks and balances thing that I go through. And here I am now. I've got a picture in my head at the moment of three kinds of crossroads.

The busy multiple-lane intersection, with a couple of turning lanes in both directions. You know...the no-turn-on-red kind of intersection because if you did, you'd get mowed down by the traffic coming through at 50 mph. I hit this intersection when I'm juggling too much...trying to do it all on my own. Maybe I want to make a left turn...but I'm not in the turning lane. OR...I just missed the green light...and will sit for what seems like an eternity waiting for the next one. Impatiently. Watching everyone else go first.

Another...the roundabout. I actually don't mind roundabouts, probably because I understand how they work. (Not to sound pious, but holy cow so many people don't). Roundabouts can be great when placed and used properly...moving traffic pretty efficiently. Keep a steady pace...take your turn and all will be just fine. OR...super frustrating when you get caught in a long line of, I'll say it...less-than-informed, fear-filled or overly aggressive or selfish drivers. I often find myself thinking while trying to get through a roundabout: "This really could work...if only..."

And then there's the rural crossroads. Cornfield on one side, pasture on the other. Long, straight road in front of you...the only thing giving you pause is the blinking red light at the corner of two county roads with numbers no one knows. It's the kind of corner the locals name after the person that lives nearest to it (or something similar). Balcom Corners comes to mind from my childhood. Stop long enough and you just might hear the blink of the light. There's really no rush. No car on my bumper. I can cruise at whatever pace I so desire. Look at me from a distance and most days you'll definitely think I'm living in the busy intersection...or even twirling around the roundabout. But in all honesty...tonight...and for quite a while now, I've been taking plenty of detours to that blinking red in the middle of nowhere. On purpose. I've been ignoring the voice on my GPS that says to take the fastest route. Instead, the GPS has been doing it's fair share of recalculating. Why? Because I need it. I need the pause. (It's a really healthy place). It's also a choice. One that I'll need to keep on making for my own sanity. If I do...I can navigate the other two...with ease. Don't be fooled. I'm not staying there. It's simply my way of refueling. With purpose. ​